SO MANY actually— It’s a Jungle out there!

And you’ll find all kinds of animals which teach a thing or two!

Tortoises, hares, horses, and lions,
Chameleons, vultures, eagles, and owls,
Peacocks, rhinos, foxes and snakes,
Hungry alligators basking across the lakes,
Busy bees and stinging scorpions,
Hard-working ants and fancy butterflies,
Dogs and cocks and sloths and moles,
And, of course, a lot of good souls!

But the most you’ll find are donkeys, asses and mules! 😀

Anyway, here I share with you some of the lessons that I have learnt, the hard way, from my over-a-decade long experience in the corporate world —

1. Visibility is everything. You must know people. And people must know about you.
2. Don’t be a Yes Man — neither at work nor in life. Learn to say NO assertively. Don’t be a people-pleaser. You lose more than you gain.
3. Don’t let ‘creepers’ use you every time. It’s good to help or guide colleagues, but don’t do their job!
4. Build up a reputation for getting things done. But don’t get too many things on your plate. Refer Lessons 2 , 3, 5 and 8.
5. Learn to delegate. More importantly, when your subordinates are not able to do the job as perfectly as you could, don’t give in to the temptation to do it right by yourself. Instead, tell them what’s wrong or give some hints to them and let THEM do it!
6. Never ignore your family over your job. Family is the most important thing in the world. Talk to them. Let them know about your life and vice-versa. { For the ones staying away from home… }
7. Most rumours you hear in the office — are actually true.
8. Don’t be too flexible and accommodating regarding requests by superiors to stay back late at work or to work *couple of hours* in weekends. Always remember, you have a life beyond office. Say No and go ahead. Work can wait till Monday!
9. Don’t bitch about your boss in front of colleagues. You never know who the ‘mole’ is!
10. Keep learning new skills, languages, tools. Learn something new everyday! Invest in yourself.
11. Don’t complete a week’s job in 2 days. Instead of the expected profuse commendation, you shall be assigned more work to fill up the free-time which you saved by working hard!
12. Periodically, give technical presentations and trainings to internal and external teams. Send calendar invites keeping your boss, your boss’s boss, your boss’s boss’s boss in CC!
13. Don’t open your official laptop at home or weekends. Be known as the person who gives his/her best in the office but who can’t be disturbed out of office. It’s good to have this reputation.
14. Don’t be like the character ‘Liquid’ of Pyar Ka Punchnama fame!
15. Try to participate in all the extra-curricular events organised in the company. You will learn a lot of things and know a lot of interesting people.
16. If you are assigned a task which others couldn’t do in a long time — and you know how to do it — don’t rush to do it immediately to get all the accolades. Do the task in a way, in which it appears to have taken a lot of effort from your-side. You should be seen as Superman!
17. Make a few trustworthy friends — but do test them well. How to test? — Watch how they react when you get your annual appraisal results and salary hikes!
18. Don’t be a wallflower. Always be vocal in team-meetings. You need to have a opinion. Make some noise! You exist!
19. If promotions are due in next 3 months, start working doubly hard to make an impression on the boss. More emphasis should be on communication and making him aware of your achievements and challenges which you overcame to finish the work.
20. Mark your boss in CC for all mails. Flood his inbox. If you get a feedback from customer, forward to him.
21. If at a client location abroad, build healthy relationships with your customer. Listen to your customer. Solve their problems. They are the ones whose feedback really matters. I have been on the good side of it always in my official assignments in Canada, China, Finland, Philippines and other locations. And it sure helps in building a reputation of a person who handles customers well.
22. Don’t ridicule your colleagues. You never know how that grudge they’ll hold will backfire on you.
23. Have monthly one-to-one meetings with your boss to touch-base on the performance goals and your progress. Get him involved in your appraisal so that you don’t get any surprises in the year-end!
24. Don’t assume your boss is a psychic and knows how you feel or think about things important to you at work. He doesn’t. Speak up! Ask and you shalt receive.
25. Learn MS Excel and MS Powerpoint tools — especially Pivots, Charts and Macros.
26. Don’t fall into the trap of multi-tasking! Concentrate on one thing at a time.
27. Your desk has to be in a mess. You need to appear busy, even if you have no work. Build the illusion. People must apologize first before interrupting your busy cubicle!
28. Don’t burn any bridges. I, being in the Telecom field, have encountered many of my past colleagues and managers again. And yes, it has been a pleasant experience!
29. Pretty girls as colleagues can really elevate the performance and total output of the team. They instill competition among colleagues!
30. Communication skills are more important than technical skills.
31. Don’t shout to put your point across. Speak softly but firmly — and people will listen to you in pin drop silence.
32. You are just another brick-in-the-wall. Don’t be too egocentric or high-headed about your achievements. No one is indispensable.
33. Being with Boss for Smoke breaks and Liquor parties always helps in appraisal!  There is something called team-building and there’s something called boss-building!
34. Don’t be reluctant to change. Be a decision maker. Don’t whine.
35. Always document important decisions/agreements/outcomes of meetings in writing through timely mails, with the right recipients in TO and CC.
36. Don’t stagnate in the same company for more than 3 years.
37. Woof! The list is getting too long, though I still have lots of things to tell. Maybe a book will suffice. I guess, enough for the day!

Dare to be like Wally from Scott Adams’s comic strip Dilbert!

Last lesson and final advice —

Love your job — but don’t love your company! 🙂

Oops! That was quite a sentence!